Do you know the original M998 High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle - HMMWV or Humvee as it became known, given all those letters to remember – the military vehicle which spawned the Hummer series of civilian off-roaders, was originally designed for Europe? More to the point, its track had to be wide enough and have enough ground clearance for it to travel in the same deep mud ruts as military trucks operating in the European “theatre”, including the Black Forest in Germany – which is where the Americans were predicting World War 3 would be fought at the time when the specifications for the new military “runabout” were drawn up during the “Cold War”. The narrow track of the Jeeps in use until then meant they had to travel with one wheel on the central hump and another in a rut – neither safe nor comfortable! As it happened, the wide track has also proved suitable for use in the deserts of the Middle East, where the Humvee is currently most active. As with the Jeep, the original workhorse of the American Army, the Humvee has been produced for civilian use as the Hummer H1, although these are no longer manufactured due to demands for “real” ones as a result of Mid-East war attrition. General Motors, which bought out the original Humvee manufacturer, American Motors, soon realised that the H1 is a bit impractical for civilian use, and downscaled to the H2, lighter and slimmer, but still large by anyone’s standards. It was based on a large 4WD platform from the Chev Tahoe. Narrower and lighter than the H1, but taller and longer. Although it initially sold well, H2 sales quickly fell off, and GM is trying hard to keep it alive by installing ever more powerful engines (a 6.2-litre 224 kW V8) and more luxury. But rumours abound that its days are numbered. And so we are left with the Hummer H3, smallest Hummer to date, and like the H2 designed around an existing GM family truck platform, as used on the Chev Colorado ute in the US. We mention this particular vehicle because it is important when we start to talk about other aspects of the Hummer, notably its engine and dashboard. But we’ll get to that later. The H3 is the first Hummer to be offered as standard in both right-hand and left-hand drive. Right-hand drive models are made in South Africa and exported mainly to Australasia and the Middle East, and come in three versions, all powered by the same Vortec DOHC 3.7-litre five cylinder in-line engine, although a V8 engine is now available in the US. The first is simply called the base H3, available in manual and automatic, then there’s the off-road oriented Adventure model, which has lower gear ratios for better climbing and descents, plus a rear diff. lock, and is also available in manual and auto, and finally the Luxury, which comes only as an automatic. First Hummer available for test in New Zealand was a black base model manual. This looked seriously aggressive, no doubt the reason that colour was chosen, but we had to drive very carefully off-road to ensure it didn’t get scratched by trees - black shows every mark. At first glance at the H3 there’s a big family resemblance with the original Humvee in the almost upright windscreen, the small windows, the wide wheel arches and the big clearance between the wheels and the mudguards. It’s big and bold and square-cut, and in your face. Cool! There are even what looks like an air inlet on the bonnet, and funny “air breather” bulges at the sides nearest the windscreen, just as on the H1. But when you look closer you find that, like the wide ‘guards, they are all bits of bolted-on plastic, for show only. However the pair of recovery D-rings on the front are real, as is the single one at the back. These are good and solid, and attached directly to the chassis. We know, we used ‘em! The big chromed front grille adds to the macho appeal, of course, as does the big spare wheel in the centre of the left hinged rear door, which has a fixed window. There’s a side step on the rear bumper - necessary to allow the spare to fit. The wheels look a lot bigger than they are, but they are 16 x 7.5 inch, shod with P265/75 R16 tyres. Oh, and they have easy-to-steal plastic centres, made so by plastic bars which are imitations of the central tyre inflation system on the original Humvee. Large fog lights are set into the big plastic front bumper, and the side mirrors are substantial. Getting up into the Hummer is a big step, and you have to pull yourself in much the same as with a Defender. So it comes as a big surprise to learn that ground clearance is only 216 mm - the sort of space you get on a softroader these days. But Hummer makes great play on the H3’s fording ability - 407 mm at 32 km/h, or a very useful 610 mm at 8 km/h. So you can go through deep water, but only if there are no big rocks in the middle. The H3 has great looks on the outside, but once into the vehicle you’re left feeling a bit underwhelmed! The dashboard comes straight from the Colorado ute, with the exception of attractive metallic trim on the centre console and around the gear lever gaiter. Even the urethane steering wheel, with the exception of the centre boss (which carries H3 markings) is the same as that in the US workhorse. However we must say the South African trimmers have done a good job on the door panels, with skills learned in the days when SA had its own local content programme put to good use in the attractive stitching. And the front seats are roomy and comfortable, with manual adjustment for rake and reach, while the steering column adjusts for height. But you can’t say the same about the rear seats, which are narrow and not very comfy at all - it looks like you’ve got a fair bit of legroom when you first open the rear door, but in fact once you get in you feel as if your bum is only just on the seat squab. And to get out you sort of have to grab onto the outside gutter and swing yourself out to avoid the bulbous rear wheelarches. Simply, there’s not enough room in the back. Which reminds me. There’s not a lot of room for your feet in the footwell when you’re driving either, and the only place to put your left foot is under the clutch pedal. Which is a bit of a bugger if you need to depress the clutch in a hurry. Back to the dashboard and Colorado or not, it’s well laid out, with the speedo and revcounter directly in front of the driver, flanking water temperature and fuel gauges, while the centre console has all the heating and ventilation controls, plus the AM/FM stereo single CD sound system, complete with digital clock, automatic volume and RDS. Plus easy-to-use pushbuttons for the 4WD system - Open, 4 High Lock, 4 Low Lock. And you can switch off the stability programme when you need to. There are electric windows and mirrors, and aircon, plus cruise control, but no steering wheel satellite operation of the sound system. The good news is that dual front airbags with a passenger weight sensing system and curtain bags are standard on all H3s. There are also roof rails as standard, and we liked the self-levelling feature on the halogen headlights, although we would have liked to have seen an HID (xenon) option. It’s not available on any of the range. Other standard safety equipment includes ABS, GM’s StabiliTrak stability programme, traction control, and dynamic rear proportioning brakes. But there’s no hill descent system. Right, you’ve climbed up, got comfy, and you’re ready to go. The 180 kW engine sounds quite powerful, but a peep at the torque figure - 328 Nm at a lofty 4,600 rpm - rings warning bells. The Hummer weighs 2.2 tons, without passengers. And it shows when you pull off. Acceleration is vapid rather than rapid, and you find yourself yearning for a good diesel - or maybe even that Yankee V8! There’s some relief in that in slow speed urban conditions the oversized body panelling provides plenty of sound insulation, and beyond the off-road suspension and tyre combination jiggling occupants on uneven tarmac surfaces, it’s not a bad experience. But all that changes when you hit the open road and the ute underpinnings are immediately noticeable. Front suspension is independent by torsion bars plus an anti-roll bar - not the best for a great ride - and the semi-elliptic leaf springs and anti-roll bar do nothing to help ride comfort at the back. Once moving you can press on in the H3, but the stability system steps in quite early if you try to drive spiritedly. We were fortunate enough to be able to be the first to go testing at the new 4WD park out at Woodhill Forest - ironically since sponsored by Jeep, but that’s another story - so got a chance to take the Hummer out into trails that haven’t been used by 4WD vehicles for years. Well almost - part of the area we used has been earmarked for 4WD training, and this gave us some nice hills to try out. But first the initial access to the park was by wide and fast gravel roads. The Hummer runs in permanent 4WD, with an open centre diff., but when you hook into 4H Lock, which you can do on the move up to 40 km/h, it locks the front/rear torque distribution at 50:50, which is much safer on dirt as it gives better road holding and grip. Once we got to the access gate, though, we selected 4 Low Lock, which transfers to the low ratios. You have to stop to do this, but you’ll never be in doubt about whether it’s in or not, for low ratio introduces a LOUD whine from the straight-cut transfer ‘box gears. Reminded me of an original Mini-Cooper S racing car with a limited slip front differential I drove many years ago. The gear ratios are not that great on the base H3 compared to the Adventure, but they’re good enough for Woodhill Forest. Maybe. Well actually, we got good and bad surprises in the forest. Firstly, that agricultural rear suspension gives amazingly good articulation, and the rear wheels stayed mostly in touch with the ground even in difficult situations. But the long wheelbase doesn’t allow a great ramp angle, and while having a go at Hummer’s claim of a 407 mm step ability we got stuck, rocking in the middle of the vehicle. Fortunately there’s lots of underbody protection. Thanks to our backup vehicle we got going again rapidly with a quick tow - but it just goes to show you must take the handbook with a pinch of salt. However, our biggest disappointments were with vision and power. The A-pillar on the Hummer is huge, and severely limits forward vision. So too does that big bonnet when you’re climbing or descending, while the small side and rear windows don’t give you much orientation. Power? Well, on about a 25 degree slope, in sand tracks that had only been used by horses, I had to drop to tickover to keep traction (yes, we had deflated the tyres to 20 psi) and made it by the skin of my teeth, the engine about to stall. If I hadn’t got up I would have had to reverse back in a tight slalom between really big trees, so I really tickled that accelerator. More torque, more torque. The gear ratios are OK on the manual, by the way, with a transfer ratio of 2.64:1 and an overall crawl ratio of 45.1:1 - about the same as a Disco 3 automatic - making downhills easy to control without hill descent control, although really long ones might require some use of the brakes (take care, even though it’s got ABS - gently gently, and never when it’s slippery). But the gearchange was slow and ponderous, and a real bind in stop-start traffic. So far you might be thinking I wasn’t enjoying the H3. Well actually I was, but in a disappointed kind of way. Perhaps my expectations were too high after all the hype. Perhaps GM should have given us the Adventure first. After all, that’s the one which will (probably) go off-roading, while the others are aimed at the pavement hoppers.