Something we’d all like to do is to drive a tank off-road. We narrowly missed out on the chance to drive the NZ Army’s Scorpion. Now that’s actually a light reconnaissance vehicle, rather than a tank, but it has tracks and a gun, so who cares?

Anyway, out of the blue, a few weeks ago one of our contributors said, "Do you still want to drive a tank? Have a look at this website."

It happened to be the website of Tanks for Everything and, yes, they do have a tank you can drive. In fact, they have far more than that.

Based at McLeans Island, near Christchurch Airport, and sharing a site with Ultimate Paintball, Tanks for Everything have a fleet of military vehicles that you can drive around their prepared courses.

The business is the brainchild of ex-pat English couple Johnathan and Wendy Lahy-Neary. After a visit home, by Johnathan, they came up with the idea for a unique and exciting business venture.

The fleet starts with a WWII army Jeep, progresses to a Ferret scout car through some APCs (armoured personnel carriers) to the big daddy of the fleet ‘Maximus’, the 52-tonne Centurion tank.

All the vehicles can be driven by customers and to make it a good day out the drives are offered as packages, where you get to drive two or three different vehicles, after having a guided tour and detailed evaluation of the vehicle.

The Fleet consists of:

Jeep – ‘Jimmy’ the Jeep is a Willys kit that was exported to India, assembled by Mahindra and then found its way to a South Island farm.

Ferret – they have two of these Scout cars – originally designed in the 50s these saw worldwide service, despite the age of the design they feature a six cylinder in line Daimler petrol engine, pre-selector gears and run flat tyres.

The series one, affectionately named Scrog (blame Wendy for the names that was a concession to her), is ex-UK and saw duty with the Army of the Rhine, whilst the Series two (Scrag) is ex-Australian Army and includes a machine gun mounting.

The Ferrets weigh in at around 4 tonnes each.

Saracen – stepping up in size and weight is the Saracen, a wheeled personnel-carrier. This is the big brother to the Ferrret, 10 tonnes, six wheel drive (four-wheel-steer) with a Rolls Royce straight-eight engine.

Hagglunds BV206 – no this is not an odd man out, it is ex-Swiss military, used to transport troops and supplies in the mountains and over snow and ice.

It has a front section comprised of the engine and driver and then a second driven cab on an articulated tow mounting.

A drive-shaft runs between the two sections to provide drive to the rear tracks. The tracks are made of rubber and, with the two pods, it has four track drive and real go anywhere ability.

To make repairs easy the engine is a Ford Capri 3.0-litre V6, and the name – ‘Hagrid’ the Hagglund.

FV432 - FV stands for fighting vehicle and all UK army vehicles have an FV number. They usually have a type name too (like Ferret or Saracen) but for some reason the FV432 missed out on a type name. Wendy has named the two resident FV432s, ‘R2D2’ and ‘C3PO’, respectively.

They are tracked armoured personnel carriers, weighing in at 16 tonnes and powered by a supercharged Rolls Royce diesel engine with a semi-automatic gearbox.

Centurion Tank - ‘Maximus’ is definitely the big daddy; all 52 tonnes of main English Army battle tank. The engine is a 27-litre, petrol, Vickers V12, based upon the Merlin engine that powered the famous Spitfires of WWII.

Fuel consumption is fairly ferocious at 5-8 gallons a mile. Unfortunately, the gun doesn’t work!

Tanks for Everything currently operates on weekends only and you can book for morning or afternoon sessions. There are three different driving tracks available to suit the different vehicles; the longest is around 800m of gravel and dirt with some holes thrown in for fun.

Apart from the actual driving, the experience includes an inspection of the vehicles plus an orientation and instruction session. Helmets and overalls are supplied.

On our visit we sampled two of the vehicles, starting with the Ferret scout car. Getting in is a bit of a trick; climb up on top of the turret and slide in to the commander’s seat then slide over the back of the driver’s seat and into position.

A helmet is a must, as your forehead is only about 75mm from a solid steel bulkhead. Visibility is great with the driver’s front hatch open, totally clear, but with the hatch closed is somewhat limited.

Starting is simple and then it’s time to try the pre-selector gearbox, which is basically the same as used in 50s Daimler and Lanchester cars and the old ARC Daimler buses.

As the name suggests, you select the gear before you want it, the gear lever needs no effort and has a marked gate, select second gear to move off (first is for hill starts) and then push the clutch down and release and you are away.

Then select third gear, in anticipation, and, when you want it, just dip the clutch and release. Then select the next gear you might want (second in this case).

The steering wheel inclines backwards; the lower wheel is further away from you. So you just grip the top of the wheel, which feels funny but works well.

Once underway the engine is responsive but noisy. Conversation is very difficult and that is with the hatches open. Imagine what it’s like when they’re closed.

With a wheel at each corner and a forward driving position the Ferret is easy to place accurately and it’s very manoeuvrable, although the steering is low-geared, meaning some wheel twirling is required.

If you need to reverse, select neutral and then move a large lever from forward into reverse. You now have four reverse gears and therefore the same speed potential in reverse.

This could be a pretty good vehicle around a 4WD course with good ground clearance, excellent approach and departure angles and 4WD. All too soon the drive is over and we park the Ferret.

Now we move on to what we came here for, the Centurion. Driving the tank is what it’s all about and now the time has arrived. You climb up onto the hull and then you essentially drop into the driver’s seat.

Once in, there’s not a lot of room - the position is tight. The controls are surprisingly simple, a large, truck-like, gear lever sprouts up between your knees, there are three pedals, with exactly the same clutch, brake, accelerator functions as in a car.

However, the clutch and brake are ‘loop’ pedals, similar to plane rudder pedals and your foot slips into them.

Finally, on either side of your knees are the two steering levers, which operate the brakes on the left or right hand tracks respectively.

Power on at the master switch, ignition on, you pump the accelerator and press the start button. The engine sounds a long way away as it starts to catch but then dies. After a couple of tries it fires, surprisingly muted.

It is quite a long way back, behind the main crew area and separated from you by thick armour plating, which is also fairly efficient at sound proofing.

You select second gear and remember the warning not to leave the clutch in for more than 10 seconds - after 20 you have lunched a rather expensive clutch. Then, with a bit of throttle you’re away.

The dust starts swirling around - goggles are a good idea because you sit in line with the front of the tracks and they throw up a lot of dust.

The first corner arrives and we pull back on the left-hand steering lever and release as it starts to fade and reapply and around the bend we go.

As the confidence builds we increase speed, around the next corner and we decide to try changing gear, into third. It’s a crash gearbox, no synchromesh but what the heck. Graunch, graunch and so it’s back into second for the rest of the lap.

When we stop, Matt the mechanic, who is our instructor tells us the boss still can’t get the gear changes that often. So, we don’t feel so bad. However, the army ‘squaddies’ don’t use the clutch at all, just equalise speed and ram them through, which takes practice.

Now it’s time to switch off the ignition followed by the master switch. The engine gives a few convulsive jerks and then a loud backfire, which, according to Matt, is the sign of a ‘good-un’.

Despite the size and weight, the controls, except the gear change, are light and it’s surprisingly easy to drive. Visibility is good with the hatch open although we’re not sure how you see to reverse.

It’s an experience we highly recommend for an ‘adrenalin fix’. So, start saving your pennies or dropping hints about what a great birthday present this would be and make your date with ‘Maximus’. Note that you must pre-book.

‘Tanks’ to the team at Tanks for Everything for a great ride.